The other day my oldest daughter Jess sent me a text and asked me if it was too early in her pregnancy to be “nesting”. I hadn’t really thought about that phase of the pregnancy since my last child was born 17 years ago, and even at that time didn’t really think a lot about the whole “nesting” ideology. It was just a phase of the pregnancy I assumed that indicated it was time for the wee one to soon arrive.
This week I was putting the final touches on my son Eli’s senior page. While I was looking at the pictures of him as a little boy and then those of him now as a young man I started thinking about the fact that soon I won’t have any children at home. During that thought process of how quickly they have all grown up it came to mind the whole “empty nest” thing that I have heard parents talk about.
I’ve never really had to deal with those empty nest feelings because when Jessica, my oldest left home I looked at it as well I still have two more here. When my middle child Kailee moved into her own apartment as a college student, well there was still Eli at home. However, now that he will soon be graduating it has hit me like a ton of bricks that soon my living arrangements will change drastically. There will be no more sleepovers, no more kids raiding the fridge and the cabinets, no more setting my alarm clock to make sure someone is up for some kind of practice, tutoring or field trips. There will be no more staying up because I can’t sleep for all the giggling and laughing in the bedroom or sounds of a football hitting the wall.
When you start to see your children leave home one by one you start on this journey of reflection, theories and sentimental thoughts. You wonder if you have done everything that was possible to raise your child the way that God trusted you to. You have flashbacks of memories and wonder if they are as precious in the minds of your children as they are in your own mind. You second guess yourself on occasion and punish yourself way more than what should probably be done.
When you first bring your child home to the "nest" that you have prepared for them the last thought that you have on your mind is the day that he/she will leave that nest...that seems like a lifetime away. Ironically that day comes much sooner than what you think and when that day arrives you look back and it seems like literally a flash in time from the day you brought them home.
I wish when I brought my children home for the first time that I realized then how important the nest was that I was creating for them. I would have taken more time to decorate the nest with memories, to pad it with more encouragement, to instill in the nest more faith and structure it with as many morals and ethics that I could. I know that I did my best to supply them with their needs of being taken care, being fed, nurtured and protected. I just hope that they realize when they spread their wings that it's okay to adventure out...well because that's what all those years of making sure that their roots were strong were about - so they would know that their wings can spread as far as they want and they can always bring them home.
If I had any advice to give to a young mother today I would tell them this; nesting is much more than making sure there is a clean house for your child to come home to. Nesting is about the life that you create for them - providing for them and loving them - nesting is years of preparation for that day that will come when they leave the nest and make their way out into the world. All you can do at that point is pray that they take with them all that you have given to them while preparing them to leave one day.
As I prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the empty nest stage of my life I find myself wishing that I was back at that stage of nesting itself. Life goes by quickly...too quickly....enjoy it from day one; savor every single second...whether it be the tantrums or the loveable moments; the tears or the smiles; the arguments or the get-along moments....they are all a part of it. Most of all those prepare the nest in a way that it will always be a place that they feel safe and happy when they need to come back to it.
When you start to see your children leave home one by one you start on this journey of reflection, theories and sentimental thoughts. You wonder if you have done everything that was possible to raise your child the way that God trusted you to. You have flashbacks of memories and wonder if they are as precious in the minds of your children as they are in your own mind. You second guess yourself on occasion and punish yourself way more than what should probably be done.
When you first bring your child home to the "nest" that you have prepared for them the last thought that you have on your mind is the day that he/she will leave that nest...that seems like a lifetime away. Ironically that day comes much sooner than what you think and when that day arrives you look back and it seems like literally a flash in time from the day you brought them home.
I wish when I brought my children home for the first time that I realized then how important the nest was that I was creating for them. I would have taken more time to decorate the nest with memories, to pad it with more encouragement, to instill in the nest more faith and structure it with as many morals and ethics that I could. I know that I did my best to supply them with their needs of being taken care, being fed, nurtured and protected. I just hope that they realize when they spread their wings that it's okay to adventure out...well because that's what all those years of making sure that their roots were strong were about - so they would know that their wings can spread as far as they want and they can always bring them home.
If I had any advice to give to a young mother today I would tell them this; nesting is much more than making sure there is a clean house for your child to come home to. Nesting is about the life that you create for them - providing for them and loving them - nesting is years of preparation for that day that will come when they leave the nest and make their way out into the world. All you can do at that point is pray that they take with them all that you have given to them while preparing them to leave one day.
As I prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the empty nest stage of my life I find myself wishing that I was back at that stage of nesting itself. Life goes by quickly...too quickly....enjoy it from day one; savor every single second...whether it be the tantrums or the loveable moments; the tears or the smiles; the arguments or the get-along moments....they are all a part of it. Most of all those prepare the nest in a way that it will always be a place that they feel safe and happy when they need to come back to it.
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