Friday, December 21, 2018

Six to Carry You in the End

I think that everyone has someone in their life that inspires them. The inspiration may come in the form of aspiring to have a high paying job and living in a house that is entirely too big for someone to live in. It may be that the inspiration comes from an athlete who has worked his or her way to the top and has broken several records and won several awards. A person may find inspiration in the man or woman who has made changes in their appearance by dieting and working out.
Personally, I find inspiration in those that can rise above the things in life that would normally make a person angry or make them dislike someone. I find motivation to be a better person by observing those that display kindness when it would be so much easier to do the opposite. My dad was one of those people. Kindness was something that he always provided the perfect example of. He was one that turned the other cheek and then would shake your hand the next day or hug your neck as if nothing had happened. He always saw the good in people and that hat is so very hard to do sometimes! 
I remember when he was diagnosed with leukemia. I had a lot of heated conversations with God over that. I could not fathom WHY someone like my dad would receive such a punishment in the form of a terminal disease. He was a good person. I mean genuinely good. This man not only donated to St. Jude's, but every month he received a picture of a child he was sponsoring he would put it in his wallet and proudly show it to people to bring awareness to their situation. This was the man who gave more of his garden harvest away than what he kept. This was the man who picked up random strangers and helped them on their way.
I'll never forget that moment that he told me he had cancer. I sat there in shock for a minute and then my first response was - "Why you?"  His response?  "Why not me?" I said 'Dad, you are such a good person and you do so much good.' He then told me that everyone has good in them and sometimes we just don't look hard enough to find it. He told me that he wasn't more undeserving of this hand that had been dealt to him than anyone else would be.
To my dad his friends were like family and strangers were merely those that he just hadn't gotten a chance to get to know. He taught me more by his actions than by his words. He showed me forgiveness by refusing to fall victim to anger. He showed me Godly love by the way that he would never hesitate to open his wallet to help someone down on their luck. He showed me compassion for others when despite how he felt, he would still help someone who needed a helping hand. He didn't waste the last years of his life by sinking himself into feeling sorry for himself. He took each day and he loved fiercely and did more than just act the role of a kind soul - he displayed it in everything that he did.
My dad always had the best philosophical advice and never hesitated to give it to me, even when I felt I didn't need it. I remember talking to him one time about a friend that had betrayed me and hurt me. His words of wisdom didn't include telling me things like "it's okay Sis karma will get them". Instead he would tell me to forgive them and to be more careful who I trusted. He would then turn that incident into an opportunity to teach me how to be a better friend. He told me once that it didn't matter how many friends in life that I made, what mattered was would I have 6 true friends to carry me at the end? I have carried those words with me through life and thought of them often when I have been hurt, betrayed, let down and disillusioned by those that I thought were my friends. It didn't make me trust any less, but instead made me cherish those true friends even more.
After all, isn't life about those that we count on? Those that we love and feel loved by? It's about the good moments in life; the ones that make you smile. Somewhere along the way we have lost sight of that [or a least a huge majority of us have]. We have social media wars over politics, whether or not we believe in vaccinations, gun control and countless other topics of discussion that are simply not worth sacrificing friendships. We have become a group of people who puts more emphasis on proving a point than simply agreeing to disagree and respecting each other's thoughts.  We have allowed ourselves to become a generation of people who would rather wish karma on someone than to take a moment to pray for them. We have lost our way when it comes to neighborly love, mending fences and showing love and kindness.
I'm not sure what happened that we chartered off course and became a society that slowly has veered away from showing kindness to each other. I'm not sure why we find it so hard to find the good in someone. I don't even know why it's so hard to be a friend to someone who needs one. I am sure though that I wish there were more people like my dad who could share with us the secret to being a better friend, but most of all a better person.