I was 15 years old when my little sister was born. By the
time she had become a toddler I was well on my way into adulthood and had moved
out of my family home. I missed out on so much of her life when she was growing
up and it wasn’t until lately that I really have thought about the importance
of the things that I didn’t get to be a part of. We never had the closeness
that other sisters have because there was so much of an age difference. We
never got to play Barbie dolls or dress up; we never got to have secrets that
we could have taunted our brothers with and we never got to lay in bed at night
giggling and talking about boys. We didn’t get to help pick out each other’s
prom dresses; I didn’t get to be the overprotective sister at high school; I
didn’t get to be the one that she talked to about her broken heart when some
jerk hurt her.
Years have passed since our childhood and basically all
the memories we have are not having those important memories together. As we
have gotten older though God has blessed us with the opportunity now to
somewhat make up for all that lost time. It was like one day we started calling
each other more often (other than when we just needed a favor or had a
question). Our relationship began to grow into the relationship that I have
always envied other sisters of having. We call each other to vent, to get
advice or to just tell a funny story. Regardless of what the conversation is
about, with each phone call we get closer.
Somewhere along the way from the transition of the little
sister that I missed out on so much with - to the woman that I am now closer to
than anyone, she has become one of the strongest women that I have ever known. Recently
she has had her fair share of trials that have given her both the occasion to
fight or to give up – and giving up has not been an option. I’ve learned
something in this bonding process; that even though I wish more than anything
that I could take some credit for her being the person that she is, she did it
all herself. She has spread her wings without my help and oh my goodness does
she soar! I look at this woman who was once a little curly haired brat that I
didn’t appreciate and now I see a woman before me that grew up without me and
yet did perfectly fine!
I find myself now [even with being the older sister] that
she is teaching me as much as I can teach her. She shows me different ways to
be a better mom, she encourages me when I feel like giving up and most
importantly she is my best friend. She holds my wings up when I get tired or
flying and in turn I am there to catch her if her wings give out. We balance
each other out now and age is not even a factor.
As vital as I think that the things are that we have
missed out on, I think that it has made our relationship more special and
stronger now than I would have ever thought possible a few short years ago. We
have this bond now that enables us to pretend to go back in time and be silly like
little girls if we want or to be strong the women for each other that we have
learned through tough spots to be.
Every now and then I sit in the floor and let her fix my
hair, we have our secrets that we pinky swear not to share with anyone else and
on occasion we even talk about boys (aka men). Although we don’t lay in the bed
and giggle late at night I know without a doubt that no matter what time it is –
we are there for each other. Even though looking back on these memories there
won’t be the images of pig tails and acne – they are even more precious to me
because we are growing together now and it’s never too late in life to grow up together.
