My oldest daughter Jess is a first time mom. I myself have 3 children. One thing that I have noticed with the more children that I had is how differently you begin to do things as a mother. When Jess was a baby I remember those days of panicking at fevers or her falling down. I was a new mom myself and didn’t reach the comfortable stage of being able to take care of her without my mom or my mother-in-law present until she was probably about 3 or 4. It didn’t take me long to realize that my mother knew as much as Jessica’s pediatrician or that Dr. Spock didn’t hold a candle to knowing how to raise a child in comparison to her so if I did have any questions I had her on speed dial.
My daughter is a great mom. She is so loving and caring with Peyton and spends so much time trying to teach her things. But she is like I was all those years ago when it comes to worrying over every little thing. She gets a little aggravated at me from time to time (I can tell) when she feels like I’m not taking things as serious as she does or when I try to tell her how to handle things differently. Jess has always been very independent and doesn’t like to ask for my help most of the time. But when Peyton is sick or something is going on with her she will come to me and ask for some guidance or advice. A lot of times she looks at me like I have two heads when I give her a simple answer or I just don’t take things as serious as she would like to think that I should. Some times I do worry and get concerned, but I always try to maintain calmness about me so she doesn’t “freak out” over the situation – just like my mom did with me.
With each additional life that I brought into this world I became more and more comfortable with raising them and getting them through things like sickness and injuries.
It wasn’t that I didn’t take it seriously; I had just “been there” and I had become more accustomed with each one on how to sustain my composure and evaluate the circumstances.
During my first go around as a mom with every boo-boo, temperature or puking event I would go into Florence Nightingale mode and baby and pet her to insure that it was all better. Then came the second one when I would be a little calmer and less dramatic over anything projectile that came from her body or any bump and bruise that she acquired. Next in line came “the boy” as we have nicknamed him. In all honesty he should have come first because then I could have been prepared for ANYTHING! But I had become seasoned at this point and I could handle all the normal things with the greatest of ease because I was almost at the pro status of motherhood. Granted he did have several “firsts” that took a little bit more thinking and fixing – in fact I could write a book on him alone and his first 3 years and probably end up with a gig on the Letterman show just to share it with people.
I’m fairly certain that many first time moms and Dr. Spock advocates probably cringe at my parenting skills now when I am out with my kids or with my granddaughter and they observe my reactions to some of the things that happen to them. I imagine that the words heartless and cold come to the minds of them when Peyton falls down and starts crying and I (after seeing nothing is broken) simply respond with “it will feel better when it quits hurting.” I can remember when my children were smaller that if one of them came to file a report on a sibling doing something they weren’t supposed to do I would spin around 3 times into my “Wonder Mom” outfit and run at warp speed to safe them from themselves. It didn’t take long though to develop the mentality that formed a method of responding to similar situations with “if there’s not blood gushing or a bone protruding I don’t want to hear any tattling.” When Jess was a baby (and her being the first) I spent more time in the ER than most doctors that were on call. I went for even the slightest injury. Now I could probably be the present day MacGyver with skills that I have acquired on how to assemble a bandage with Bounty paper towels and masking tape or a sling with an old T-shirt – and not have to pay a co-pay which is an added bonus to home medical practices.
But Jess and all other new moms have to learn like the rest of us have over the years. We prevent what we can, we take care of what we need to and we just sit back and wait for the next thing to happen…because it will. That’s all a part of it.
