So I have been contemplating a bucket list. When you pass 40 it makes you want to look at the bucket in a more friendly way than just kicking it I suppose. I have every intention of making one I just never take the time to.
This week I did something that I have wanted to do, but always been scared to do in a sober state of mind. I let Patrick and my friend Debbie talk me onto the stage to try my hand (or should I say voice) at Karaoke with them. (Thank goodness they were up there with me or I would have probably ran out the door) I had sung in front of many people at church through the years and was nervous, but for some reason grabbing the mic to sing a song that I only sing to the top of my lungs going 65 mph down the highway with the shield of rolled up windows seemed to petrify me. I think at one time I tried to Karaoke when it first became popular, but to be honest that was in my younger days and I was probably overly influenced by a fruity drink with a tiny red straw in it, so obviously I have no recollection of it.
After a short pouting fit of having my name handed to the man behind the musical machine that could either lead me to stardom or drive people by droves out of the establishment, I finally mustered up the courage (being dragged of course helped) to climb up on the stage. For a mere 3 or 4 minutes I stood up there and belted out Rocky Top to an adoring crowd of East Tennesseans. Apparently I hit all the right notes or there was just an excessive amount of cheers from a more than half intoxicated audience that would have cheered the same for Molly our pig standing up there crooning to them. Either way I did it and crossed that off an impending list that has been circulating through my mind for years.
I was so proud of myself that it encouraged me to actually write my list down and start trying to take advantage of opportunities to cross each of my dreams off. Now I am quite certain that some of these things I want to do will merely remain a fantasy to me - like going to France or actually riding a roller coaster; but some of them I really hope I can do.
Since I started dating Patrick all those years ago I have actually been able to do things that I never thought possible on the income of a single mom. I have been to New York, which has been my dream since I was old enough to know what the Big Apple was; I have been to Vegas, and although I didn't come away with a jackpot that would financially stabilize me and my kids, I still got to experience it. Both trips I flew to where I was going after I promised myself that I wouldn't do after a near brush with death on a runway over 20 years ago - and actually loved it both these times. Of course I'm sure that it was the encouragement spawned off of a tiny white pill that relaxed me so much I could have strapped myself to the wing of the plane and not known any difference from riding there or in my seat that got me through the flight. Regardless I did it and that is all that really matters.
I want to take a cruise to some exotic island with Patrick and sit on the beach looking at the view that you see in the centerfold of a travel magazine and would really like to be able to do it while looking like Jennifer Aniston at the same time in my string bikini. Somehow it just takes away from the romance of lounging on the sand when I think of looking more like Roseanne Barr in a bikini that would take a search warrant to find most of it.
I would love to buy a camper and spend weekends in the mountains and condition myself to be able to ride a bike on the trails without requiring the Rescue Squad to follow at least 50 ft. behind me - "just in case...."
I really want to write a book and it be one of those that makes it to a book club meeting that everyone just raves about how they couldn't put it down. Even it's just a children's book that makes it to the list of the favorite ones read by kindergarten classes - that's okay too.
Adding to the list would be having a weekend away at the beach with my closest girlfriends; laying out in the sun all day, eating seafood every night and sitting on a balcony laughing and reminiscing about old times at the end of the days. A weekend at an inn in Charleston would have to be included. Just me and Patrick on this trip though taking carriage rides and having long walks in the moonlight holding hands.
And I think it would be amazing to be able to go on a mission trip to experience the wonders of telling people in other countries about God and seeing the look on their faces when they hear about Him for the first time. I think that would be the most fulfilling thing of all.
Last but not least (so far) would be being able to take my kids and my granddaughter to Disney World and being able to lavish them with a time of their lives. That would be some amazing memories and would top it all off perfectly to travel on over to Sea World while we were there.
I suppose that a lot of these things are selfish perhaps, some a little silly and most of them way out of my league of being able to accomplish. But that's the great thing about making out a list of your dreams - being able to look at it and close your eyes imagining it. Maybe one day I'll cross one or two of these off (and with almost certainty it won't be the one of looking like Jennifer Aniston is a bikini) but regardless as long as I can find the courage to do at least some of them then it will just add to the amazing things that I have already been blessed to do and experience. And if I don't get to see France or own a camper it won't take away from the adventures that I have already went through. I'm already more blessed than I deserve to be - those things would just be added bonuses.
