Now on the other hand if you were to spend a day or two living with me you would find that I am really quite the opposite. Let me paint a picture for you of what my life really consists of. I live in the country in a quaint little house. I own a pig. I have stray animals that just show up randomly so any given morning I may wake up the proud owner of what could be 1 dog or it could be 6. Usually I have at least one or two canines that we commonly refer to in the south as being "in heat" so there are several times that I have to rush my granddaughter in the house because I don't have the vocabulary to explain to a 2 year old what it happening in my front yard and why she can't just go pet two dogs at one time. I have a 13 year old son that thinks nothing off walking outside in broad daylight at 10 in the morning wiping the sleep from his eyes and peeing off my patio for the cars that might be driving by. My daughters and myself walk around half the time in our pajama pants with hair that looks like it has been combed with a firecracker and no makeup. Usually every weekend I have enough teenagers who drive at my house that my driveway way looks like Fast Eddie's buy here - pay here car lot. On those weekend mornings I usually wake up to what looks like the morning after Woodstock with passed out kids lying all over my living room floor and I require a road map to get to my kitchen without stepping on one of them. I have neighbors across the field who in no uncertain terms have more of a hate relationship than love and because of their outburst of their profanities and screaming. I can practically summon the police by method of telepathic communication chanting repeatedly in my mind "they are at it AGAIN???"
Now that you have had a glimpse inside the life of the author of this blog, I will say that on some days it isn't as bad and on some days it's much more than I have described and I'm fairly certain that Jeff Foxworthy could use my life for one of his stand-up comedy routines. I try to convince myself that I and my tribe that live here with me are not "THAT much" of an example of a true redneck. But then something brings me back to reality.
Last night my jolt of reality came in the form of a conversation that Patrick and I had on the back from a really nice date. He proceeds to inform me as we drive down the interstate that he has found us an RV. [Now those of you that have read some of my blogs know that I dearly LOVE camping - so for a brief moment I was thrilled]. I inquire who for's and what not's of the proposed RV and he then tells me that it is a 1986 Toyota RV that will be perfect for us. He then goes onto say "when I get it all fixed up we can drive it on a date and on the way home I want you to walk back in the back and bake me a cake." Yep reality has set in....we are the new Griswolds!
