Today marks the third year from the day that I lost the most important man in my life…my dad. A friend of mine said the other day while reflecting on her own father’s death that some anniversaries are not to be celebrated, but to be endured. I don’t think I have ever heard it referred to so correctly.
While his leaving left such a void in my life and for those that loved him so much we are left with so many amazing and wonderful memories of him. There’s an old cliché that says – “it’s not what you take with you – but what you leave behind that matters most.” Well with my dad he gave to us so much during his life that we will forever be blessed with what he left behind for us. Not only did he leave us with so many precious memories – he also left behind a wonderful reputation. I am constantly reminded of his kindness, his loving heart and of course [for those of you that knew him] his wonderfully crazy sense of humor. I can probably recite every story that he ever told word for word. I can sit down and lecture my children in verse the same lectures that he used on me. At the time that I was on the receiving end of either a story or a lecture I didn’t realize how I was clinging to every word that he said. But through the years his words of wisdom and his humorous antidotes have echoed in my mind with every little thing that has in some way sparked a recollection of something he had said during my life. All the way back as far as I can remember he was in some way planting a seed not only in my life, but so many others as well.
When people tell me that I remind them so much of my dad it is the greatest compliment that I can receive. Although I know in my heart that I am far less of a person than my dad was and can only hope that I measure up to him in some way one day; it is an inspiration and a challenge to be like him every time someone says that.
For each person who tells me a story about my dad or each time that someone remembers him with a kind word I think about the reputation that he had during his life here. While he would be the first to admit [even today] that he was far from perfect, he was still in my eyes and so many other’s ranked right up there on the top of the “Best People” list. Through the fault of simply human nature, we often spend so much of our lives finding some reason to critique a person or an excuse to rake them over the coals. We spend so much time finding fault that we don’t even bother to find something more positive in its place. When my time comes to leave this world I hope that I can leave behind the positive things that people saw in me. But more importantly I hope that during this life that I can give someone something positive to remember.
I saw something today that made me think about my dad and his philosophy that he tried to apply to his life – “Our days are happier when we give people a bit of our heart rather than a piece of our mind.” So today while my heart hurts because I miss my dad more than ever – I’m going to think about the many wonderful things about him. I don’t want to think today about what has been taken away…I would much rather think about how he lived his life so that when he was gone that when someone thought of him they had no choice but to smile....because I certainly will.
