Recently I have been blessed to have been asked to undertake the role of assistant youth leader in my church. While those that know me know that it is no secret that I dearly love kids of all ages, it was still a tad bit scary to take on "the teenagers". They have a mind of their own and sometimes they can been kind of hard to relate to. It's not because they are mean or corrupted or anything of that nature - it's because they are their own breed and to be frankly honest somewhat intimidating and often times very confusing to read. But it's not their fault - the aliens of the hormone world have invaded their bodies and they have been taken over.
I can sit down in my sun room and have a heart to heart talk with any child of any age [boy or girl] and in some way some how relate to them and talk to them for hours. But being a leader and someone who offers them guidance on a regular basis - well that in itself is very intimidating and quite the challenge. These minds that they have are fragile and can be so easily influenced; so saying just the right thing all the time was something that I was concerned about more than anything. Realizing that I have taken on the role of a grown-up with wisdom outside their paternal surroundings brought me to the realization that what I say or don't say will some where down the road be an influence possibly on some decisions that these kids make.
I am quite the talker, in fact I could talk the ears off a brass monkey if the truth be told. But when I decided to make this commitment to these kids I decided that my first assignment that I had given myself was to sit back and just listen....that's all...just listen. To my surprise I learned much more than I anticipated. When children [no matter what age] are in their freedom zone away from their parents I think they are more at ease to just let loose with their thoughts, ideas and emotions without the fear of repercussion for their honesty. I have sat there for an entire class and not said a single word and have learned one thing more than any other. That bit of knowledge gained was that these kids have learned a lot in life by the things that their parents have taught them. I would almost wager to guess that most of their parents have never realized just how much these kids have listened to them and learned from the examples that they have set.
A question that was presented to the kids this past week was how do you honor your parents when they aren't around? One by one the responses amazed me of the kids and how they should behave in society. Innocent answers that they had no idea how significant that they were in what they should do and what they shouldn't do.Their answers ranged from how to "not do" certain things that their parents wouldn't want them to do to what they "should do" in certain scenarios. I have this one young man in my class Ryan who has been raised by a single mom. When he was asked about a "what if" situation I watched him intently as he proclaimed that did he not do as he should he knew what would happen if his mom found out. He then proceeded to elaborate on how he knew what his mom would do if he didn't do what she asked of him the first time that she asked. I have known Ryan for several years and always thought very highly of him because of his attitude and his behavior. Most of the time he has been with his mom [who is one of my very best friends] and I have witnessed firsthand his respect that he has for her. But those times that I have seen him in his own world without her there, like in class for an example he has been exactly the person that she has molded him to be without her being there to pull puppet strings and guide him in his actions.
This class has taught me in the short time that I have been in there that even though a lot of these parents may feel at times that they are fighting a losing battle with a child who is a typical teenager - they have taught them more than what they realize. As scary as it is to let our children go out into the big ole world and spread their wings we have to realize as a parent that the important part of their spreading their wings to fly is to know that we have given them roots to grow. The same as you nurture anything else - the same as it is with our children - we take care of them and they will grow. But as a parent what we have to remember is that growth isn't just a physical aspect - it's much more.
I have received blessing after blessing watching these kids and seeing what it is that they have to offer of themselves to the world and it all started out with parents who cared enough to nurture them so that when they aren't there to see them that they are still the person that they are expected to be.
