Some times there are things in life that happen solely for the purpose of us gaining a new perspective on life or for us to learn a valuable lesson. This week I have had the opportunity for both of those things to happen to me at the same time.
For the last two weeks I have undergone the worries and stress of waiting on some test results to come back. Normally I wouldn’t worry myself too much, but this was with an Oncologist so my human nature kicked in and to be honest, I have let the fear of the worst case scenario play havoc on my mind and my emotions for the last 14 days.
In the midst of all my worries a good friend of mine made me some cupcakes. Now first of all, let me emphasize on the fact that when Cori makes you cupcakes she is not JUST making you cupcakes. These are not the standard run of the mill cupcakes – these are ones that could compete on cupcake wars! Second of all, my friend had no idea what these past two weeks have consisted of, so therefore the cupcakes were just an added blessing; because she didn’t make them under the pretense that she thought I was dying.
Since I began my journey “over the hill” a couple birthdays ago I have to admit I’ve packed on a few (that’s being modest) unwelcome pounds. So bringing cupcakes to a woman who swears everyday she’s going to diet is just opening the door to temptation.
Well I am weak – I admit it – I’m not proud of it – but I am weak. So needless to say I have had a balanced diet of cupcakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner a couple days this week. After I would eat the cupcakes I would beat myself up for having no willpower, give myself mean looks in the mirror and engage in battle with my jeans to get them zipped (more so than usual).
So needless to say when I went to the doctor this week my favorite part of the visit was not stepping up on the scales! I knew that once I took that step and the end result flashed before me that I would try every way possible to kick myself in the hind end. It was bad enough that I was a nervous wreck awaiting my test results, but the added depression of going up on that dreaded slide instead of down made it worse.
But as I stepped off the scales and proceeded back to my room I overheard the conversation of a lady that had apparently been going through a battle much worse than mine. She had been diagnosed with cancer, had continued to lose weight and by all indications her prognosis wasn’t a positive one. I started to think about what awaited me on the other side of the door. Was what lay in store for me the same thing that this poor lady was going through? Was my life about to change completely?
Without making the story any longer than it needs to be and not going into the lengthy details – for now the results were far better than what I had worried myself into anticipating.
During my drive home I couldn’t get the lady in the other room off my mind. I thought about how much she would probably love to be able to eat a cupcake for breakfast, actually have a choice about wanting to and being able to exercise or how she dreads stepping on the scale for the exact opposite reason that I do.
I realized that life is so short and so much more precious than we give it credit for. It shouldn’t matter if we want to have a cupcake for any meal of the day. We shouldn’t put so much emphasis on the importance of how we fit into the society designed image that we should have. I think that life should be enjoyed – every minute of it. I think we should wake up every morning with a new goal, a new embrace on life a step closer to our dreams.
I still have a few tests to do - but whatever the outcome is - I hope I never lose sight of the fact that it's okay to eat a cupcake instead of a pancake some times and when I do I'm going all out and licking the icing off my fingers too!
I still have a few tests to do - but whatever the outcome is - I hope I never lose sight of the fact that it's okay to eat a cupcake instead of a pancake some times and when I do I'm going all out and licking the icing off my fingers too!
