As a single mom the one thing that you just don’t have a lot of is time for “just you”. I love being with my kids more than anything in this world - but sometimes the whole “mom job” does get a little overwhelming.
With that said – this weekend I took off to Ohio to bring my mother back home from her visit with our family up there. I had one of those very rare opportunities where I had more than 30 minutes to be by myself. I felt like I was on an exotic vacation and I was only in my Mom’s mini-van on I-75! I turned the radio up if I wanted to and sang to the top of my lungs. I kept the temperature below freezing and didn’t have to worry about someone begging for heat. I had over 6 hours with just me and my thoughts. My mind felt like a hamster on crack on a spinning wheel! To be honest if the trip had been 12 hours I probably would have came back a new woman completely!
As stressed out as my life is – I do love it. I wouldn’t change anything about going to 50 or 60 ballgames of different sports a year. I wouldn’t trade 7 or 8 hours of concession stand duty at every home ballgame. I wouldn’t give up having anywhere from 3 to 15 kids at my house on the weekends in exchange for a quiet environment, because I know that those times won’t last much longer.
I just have to be reminded that every once in a while too, that the solitude of it “just being me” is needed for nothing other than me reconnecting with myself. In that short span of almost 7 hours I was rejuvenated and ready to go for the weekend when I got to my Aunt’s house.
In addition to my “me time” I got to follow up with a weekend of laughing continuously until my sides ached! I am so overwhelmingly blessed with an awesome family on both sides of the parental fence. My family on my mother’s side has to be the healthiest people on the face of the earth if the cliché “laughter is the best medicine” is actually true. From the minute I walk in the door until the minute I leave there is laughter echoing in our presence.
The one thing that a lot of us on the maternal side of the family have in common is that fact that we would rather scare each other than eat when we are hungry! So each trip consists of me scoping out every piece of furniture or anything else that I can hide behind; I have to even confess that I have even assessed the measurements of my Aunt’s new dryer just to see if I could fit in it. We will do anything for at the expense of a laugh. Some call us a little crazy; but for us it works.
We did A LOT of retail therapy (which shall be a blog within itself soon) and just hung out the last night playing a game of Guesstures; which required several trips to the bathroom for those of them that weren’t planning ahead and didn’t think it necessary to purchase any Depends. By the end of a very productive day I was exhausted from laughing so much, but still had enough energy to hide in the clothes closet one last time on my unsuspecting mother with the stints in her heart. I think she is probably out of the woods for the danger of another heart attack with all the training that has been put into scaring her every time the opportunity presents itself.
I always dread the loading up the vehicle part because I have so much fun with them and I hate to leave. But the trip served its purpose. I relaxed, I had fun, I laughed and laughed and most of all I had a little bit of an opportunity to reconnect with that inner part of myself that often gets pushed aside for the sake of something that I some times make more important than it should be.
As a mother I feel like every interaction that I have with my children and their lives is so vitally important. As well as what I give of myself to my perspective other, my family or my job - BUT I have got to get better at reminding myself that the interaction WITH myself is as equally important, because it makes me a better person. I don’t think you should always put yourself first by any means, but its okay to celebrate “just you” – it’s okay to remember that you are important and that sometimes the only person who is responsible for that happiness is you.
The older I get the more I am realizing that as much as I need to spend time with those I love – I also need to spend time with me. I might not always be my favorite person – but I am pretty special to me and I have to treat me with as much respect and love as I do others.
With all that said – if it’s been a while since you have had some “me time” – take an opportunity to do it. You will be surprised what a little road trip, some laughter or hiding in the closet can do for you.
