Today would’ve been my Mom and Dad’s 47th wedding anniversary. I know that this is going to be a difficult day for her and my heart hurts thinking about how she must feel.
I was very blessed as a child growing up to have not only the parent’s that I had, but to have the example of what was, as close to perfect as there can be, where marriages are concerned.
In the 45 years of my life I never one time heard my parents argue. Oh I’m sure they had their occasional marital bout over things but when/if they did it was certainly never in the presence of us kids. In fact, I don’t even recall a harsh word or a voice raised by either of them when it came to each other. Now to us kids….welllllll….yeah they raised their voices a time or two – but I promise you we deserved it!!!
I could tell story after story about the relationship that my parents had. Their life together actually was a storybook unfolding everyday with a new page and chapter. Their relationship was something that they worked on every single day and most of the time it was without effort – it had just developed into a habit. Their vows that day meant something to them and they spent every day keeping those vows. They were each other’s very best friend. They talked about everything – whether it was something as trivial as what to have for dinner or something monumental about life changing events.
My dad worked 2nd shift a lot when I was growing up so he would get in late at night. But I remember every morning getting ready for school and my mom fixing us breakfast with my dad drinking his coffee in the dining room and them “just talking”. Even when I got older and moved out I would come for visits and it would amaze me that he would still be sitting at the bar “just talking” to my mom while she cooked dinner. I couldn’t believe after all those years that they still “just talked”.
My parents always supported each other and if there was a difference of opinion in what they believed in they compromised with each other. Mom didn’t always want to do what Dad did and vice verse but they agreed to disagree or they simply made a compromise that allowed them to never let it be an argument.
Most of all they trusted each other. They were confident in their love for each other and even when times were hard that love was enough to conquer anything.
I remember this story that my dad told me once and I will never forget it. He had gotten a promotion at work and traveling was part of it. He said that one time when he was on the road [he would be gone all week] and he stayed in hotels 4 and 5 nights out of the week. Well one particular night he was at a restaurant in the lobby of a hotel. A very pretty woman came up to him while he was eating by himself and she came and made some small talk. Before she left his table she slid her room key onto the table and walked away. Dad said ‘now she was a beautiful woman, I’ll give her that. But when I looked at her room key I saw your mom. I saw the nights that she was up all night throwing up from morning sickness. I saw all the nights that she walked the floor with one of you kids sick and when morning came she still fixed my breakfast looking kinda rough and worn out. I saw her gain weight with each of you kids during her pregnancies and I saw her have Lord knows how many different hairstyles (not always flattering LOL) and I saw how she made sure that my clothes were washed, our house was cleaned, and our bills were paid. And to me at that moment your mother was more beautiful than that woman could ever dream of being. At that moment I loved your mom more than I ever had because I realized how very blessed I was.’
The love that my parents had wasn’t something that inspired a Lifetime Movie or a Nicholas Sparks novel (although given the right author trust me there would have been enough inspiration and material for a great love story). Their love though was something that left an impression on many that knew them and especially us kids. Speaking for myself, it gave me something to hope for – something to dream of having one day.
I remember one time I was on the porch swing with my dad having one of our MANY talks. This particular conversation was about relationships. He said ‘Sis when you start a relationship it’s like planting a tree. For every nice thing that you do for each other or say to each other you put a blossom on that tree. In time storms will come and blow some of those blossoms away but how many are left after the storm is over depends on you and how many that you have put on the tree by what you have done for each other. And if there are always more blossoms left than there are that blew away then you are doing things right and your relationship will always flourish. But always remember to put God in the middle and just like He nourishes the trees to grow – He will also nourish your relationship.’
I see all these relationships today among friends, read about ones that involve celebrities and royalty. I watch movies about couples who live happily ever after. But to me the greatest love story and my most favorite is about a man named Kenny and a woman named Linda who met on a blind date (a hillbilly and a Yankee) married 6 months later and lived a life together for 45 years in a marriage that will forever be the kind of love that will always be the perfect example to me of what “true love” really is.
Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad – I know that she is looking up and thinking of you today Dad and I know that he is looking down and loving you more today than ever Mom.
Thank you for the example that you set – for the love that you had and for the inspiration that you gave us.
