He came into this world raring to go and ready to teach me a thing or two about the other side of the fence. From the time that child could crawl he was the definition in Webster Dictionary of "boy". He was into everything and gave a whole new meaning to the word mischievous. If I could paint a picture for you of what I mean I would tell you about the time that he decided he wanted to be the Grinch and proceeded to color himself green with a permanent Sharpie marker starting with (and I don't know why) a certain body part that shall remain nameless, and by that indication I'm sure that you know what I mean. For days I was greeted with that reminder each time I changed his diaper. We ended up at the E.R. one night and imagine my embarrassment when the doctor went to examine him and was about to draw the conclusion that gangrene had set up and he looked at me bewildered as he wanted to ask but couldn't find the words - "just how did this happen?"
That was just the beginning. I could write a book I'm sure on all the adventures that this boy has put me through during his 13 years. From the making sundaes in his sister's hair as she slept, covering the
Chihuahua in Elmer's glue, attempting to chisel a hole in his bedroom wall while in his bedroom for time-out (thank you Shawshank Redemption for giving him that idea) to short circuiting the house by cutting the lamp cord in half - he has been one adventure after the other.
With age comes wisdom? Not so much so. Not in his case anyway. He as a freshman in high school is still as adventurous as ever and with the years the adventure has simply become an art to him. He is all about discovering new ways to peak my curiosity and make me ask the question more than once - "what else can he come up with?" I have holes in my vinyl siding from air soft wars in my sun room, lids found in the yard from countless water bottles used to make baking soda and vinegar bombs, and enough evidence of burning stuff "for the heck of it" that an amateur fire marshal could have an open and shut case. Now don't get me wrong he's not mean and he doesn't do the things he does in a younger version of Butch Cassidy kind of way. He's just a typical boy. He hates to brush his teeth, has to be reminded that he can't wear his socks two days in a row, and loves to look at himself in the mirror and flex his muscles.
Where as my girls were all about fixing each other's hair at a slumber party he's the "let's take this snake we found in the house and scare my sister" sleepover kind of kid. Did he do that too? Well yes as a matter of fact this past weekend he sure did. Imagine my surprise as I am fixing pancakes for a house full of kids and I hear them say - "we thought it was dead - it must have got out." So the whole day consisted of me threatening to put him on Monday's child if he didn't locate the said snake and remove it from the premises. 11 hours later the snake was captured and he was still allowed to call me Mom.
I have gone through the innocent stages of Thomas the Train, Ninja Turtles and Power Rangers to the fear for your safety if he gets ahold of you WWE and run for your life Wyatt Earp stages. I have threatened him within an inch of his life over his "hold my Dr. Pepper and watch this" antics and just eventually have given in to shaking my head and rolling my eyes as he attempts a new feat from time to time to "one-up himself" from the last go around. Some days I just laugh and some days I thank the Lord that he didn't manage to blow a finger off with a firecracker.
He's a one of a kind that son of mine and to be honest that may be a good thing -because two of him I'm not sure I could handle (because I'm really partial to my new windows). But at the end of the day, no matter what excitement he has brought my way - he always without hesitation tells his mom "I love you" and still hugs my neck as he walks off to go to bed and I say for the 2,456th time - "son don't forget to brush your teeth."
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