Okay so yes the title is a little morbid you might think, but hear me out and you will see why I have chosen this title.
This past week a dear and precious friend of mine lost her father suddenly. Saturday night we were at the funeral home and as the preacher spoke he was telling all these wonderful stories of her dad. As he was about to finish up he made a comment that I have had ringing in my ears ever since then. He said "I really didn't have to get up here and say anything, because as all these people came through to pay their respects I realized that he basically preached his own funeral."
I looked around at that moment and saw the pews of the room filled with people who loved Charles and how they wiped the tears from their eyes obviously thinking about the void that their lives would have without him in it. I thought back to my own father's funeral and about all the people that came by and how they had such nice things to say about my dad. I knew these things about him, but it was still a comfort to hear them out loud. I realized at that moment that we all basically preach our own funerals that will come one day by the impact that we leave in other's lives. It was then that it dawned on me more than ever the importance of how we treat people. We can offer kindess and spread happiness or we can leave an impression on people that is the exact opposite.
I've thought a lot since that service and the preacher's words about the impact that certain people have had on my life, and I've thought even more so about the impression that I have left on the lives and in the minds and hearts of people that I come across. My mother and father spent all of my adolescent years teaching me the [most important rule perhaps] in life - the golden rule. After all gold is symbolic of being first place - so therefore that tells you that as a person that rule should always be the first and take presidence over the others. Treating others how we want to be treated is what we should all strive for.
I try to be cautious how I treat people and on those ocassions when I am hateful, rude or just basically socially unacceptable, well I feel bad and I should. I don't want the lasting impression that I leave on someone to be that kind of perception that I am mean, cold-hearted or insensitive. When the time comes that my children, a spouse or my family stand in the places of those this weekend that stood as final goodbyes were spoken or memories were reflected; I hope that I will have made them proud. I hope that when people think of me that I will have preached my own funeral with kind thoughts, pleasant recollections and smiles behind the tears.
As easy (too easy unfortunately some times) as it is to get upset, hurt someone's feelings, or speak without thinking of the repurcussions; it should be even more easy to overlook the indiscretions of others and speak a kind word or offer a helping hand to someone instead.
My dad always used to tell me that you should make a new friend every day and that if you are blessed enough you will at least have 6 of them to carry you in the end. It's my wish that for the remainder of my life that I will strive to leave such a positive impression on others that there will be no need for words to tell how I lived my life, that instead the line will go on and on of those that were impacted by me in a manner to which they wanted to stop by just to tell my family that I will be missed.
So just remember as you go through life to live it so that you can preach your own funeral by a multitude of people having nothing to say about you but good things.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Tucked away in our little corner of the world
Living in a small town community some people think that we are deprived of the luxuries in life. Obviously we don't have big chain restaurants, malls or movie theatres. Instead though we are overwhelmed with the simpler things in life. I mean when you think about it, how many people can say that they have mountains for a backdrop to their ball fields, a river that runs through part of their community, trees by the thousands that compliment the scenery or a clear vision of stars on a mountain top that seem so close that you feel like you could reach out and touch them?
Living in a small town though means so much more than the views through your windshield as you drive to work or to a neighbor's house. We have a community that consists of either knowing just about everyone or at least being able to just mention a name and someone in the crowd knows exactly who they are or at least half know the family. It is a world where you can go into the local gas station and the store clerk knows you and calls you by name or knows you well enough that you can buy on credit because you forgot your wallet at home or you can write a check without having to provide 2 pieces of proof of identity. You can drive down the road and not double check to see if your doors are locked if you see a person standing on the side of the road because more than likely you are going to roll down your window and ask them if they need a ride and not think twice about sharing the vehicle with them. A person can go to work and not worry whether they locked their front door because in almost every place the neighbor is a childhood friend or a member of your family, and it's an unwritten guarantee that your house is being watched over without you even having to ask.
In this rather close knit society it's a place where you are missed when you don't go to a local ballgame or you aren't at church on Sunday. And as a parent it's a comfort within itself that your child is also the adopted child of at least 3 or 4 other families and you know that without hesitation that one of those non-biological family members can be called on at any time if your child needs help.
The summer times consist of groups of kids by the dozen jumping fearlessly off the iconic bridge just up the road from town or gathered up at the beach drive in swimming in the ice cold river water. The winter weather means big bonfires for those of all ages and taking food to those that can't get out in the weather, because those in need might not be your own mom and dad - but it's some one's that you know or that you've met and that's reason enough to watch after them.
Sure the disadvantage to living in a small town means that rumors and gossip spread like wildfire - but it also means that if someone is sick or there's been a death then that same link connects enough people in the community together to feed an army or have a fundraiser that everyone and their brother shows up to so that you can bid on homemade baskets to raise some money to pay for whatever their need is.
A small town in my opinion is just an example of a Utopian society where everybody knows somebody and we take care of each other. It has it's downs like it's ups, but in the end I would wager to say that if given the choice of living in a metropolis where you seldom pass a familiar face on the sidewalk or living in a small town with a population of less than a thousand - deep down a lot of us would give up a five minute drive to a mall in order to have five minutes of the peace and sanctity of knowing that you always have someone watching out for you. Yes, I have to say being tucked away in our own little part of the world where you don't just know your neighbor's name by the letters on the side of their mailbox, but instead know them on a first name basis is the kind of world everyone should have a chance to experience.
Living in a small town though means so much more than the views through your windshield as you drive to work or to a neighbor's house. We have a community that consists of either knowing just about everyone or at least being able to just mention a name and someone in the crowd knows exactly who they are or at least half know the family. It is a world where you can go into the local gas station and the store clerk knows you and calls you by name or knows you well enough that you can buy on credit because you forgot your wallet at home or you can write a check without having to provide 2 pieces of proof of identity. You can drive down the road and not double check to see if your doors are locked if you see a person standing on the side of the road because more than likely you are going to roll down your window and ask them if they need a ride and not think twice about sharing the vehicle with them. A person can go to work and not worry whether they locked their front door because in almost every place the neighbor is a childhood friend or a member of your family, and it's an unwritten guarantee that your house is being watched over without you even having to ask.
In this rather close knit society it's a place where you are missed when you don't go to a local ballgame or you aren't at church on Sunday. And as a parent it's a comfort within itself that your child is also the adopted child of at least 3 or 4 other families and you know that without hesitation that one of those non-biological family members can be called on at any time if your child needs help.
The summer times consist of groups of kids by the dozen jumping fearlessly off the iconic bridge just up the road from town or gathered up at the beach drive in swimming in the ice cold river water. The winter weather means big bonfires for those of all ages and taking food to those that can't get out in the weather, because those in need might not be your own mom and dad - but it's some one's that you know or that you've met and that's reason enough to watch after them.
Sure the disadvantage to living in a small town means that rumors and gossip spread like wildfire - but it also means that if someone is sick or there's been a death then that same link connects enough people in the community together to feed an army or have a fundraiser that everyone and their brother shows up to so that you can bid on homemade baskets to raise some money to pay for whatever their need is.
A small town in my opinion is just an example of a Utopian society where everybody knows somebody and we take care of each other. It has it's downs like it's ups, but in the end I would wager to say that if given the choice of living in a metropolis where you seldom pass a familiar face on the sidewalk or living in a small town with a population of less than a thousand - deep down a lot of us would give up a five minute drive to a mall in order to have five minutes of the peace and sanctity of knowing that you always have someone watching out for you. Yes, I have to say being tucked away in our own little part of the world where you don't just know your neighbor's name by the letters on the side of their mailbox, but instead know them on a first name basis is the kind of world everyone should have a chance to experience.
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